The Truth Behind My Reflection
by Millenia Of The Flames
Summary: Being true to yourself is not always simple. Atsuishi knows that. He has to hide who he is, that he falls for boys. How long can he still hide it? [YAOI. Don't like, don't read] (Heat x Nepper & Nagumo x Gazel)
1. It's Who I Am

My name is Atsuishi Shigeto.

I'm a Closet Case

I always felt like I was different.

When all the other boys started noticing girls I was still playing my video games - I just didn't know what was so special about them.

When time went on I realized that the ones I like aren't girls - but boys.

I though at first that it was just a phase, that perhaps every boy feels like that at one time. I even tried to get myself to like girls. All to no avail.

I admitted it to myself when I was 16. I knew about then that what I feel like can't be changed - that it's there to stay forever. And I got scared.

In my country being gay is not only sin, if you're gay you're considered sub-human. No possible penance.

I was once told that the only way to "heal" a homosexual is with a bullet through the head.

That's why I'm hiding it. No one would understand.

Not my family or people I go to school with.

I dread what would happen if anyone found. I'm so scared I never acted on my feeling.

There were boys I liked and like, but if they'd know how I feel, they would kill me. It's very frustrating knowing that someone you like not only not likes you back but would probably seriously harm you if he ever found out.

The other problem are my parents.

I don't know how they would react. When they see gay people on TV they don't throw fits or say how immoral that is. My mother once said it's matter of choice. But what if they knew that their own son was...?

They'd send me to a "professional" most likely.

I think they're beginning to doubt. I'm 18 and I never had a girlfriend.

Although I'm not really attractive (quite the opposite) so people assume it's because of that. But then again, I seen equally ugly guys with girlfriends. And there's plenty of ugly girls too, so I don't know for how long I can keep this up.

It's just so hard not being able to be who you are in front of people, it's so hard measuring your every word, your every move so that you don't slip up.

If anyone knew my life would be over.

But then I moved to Japan, where I was born. It had been 11 years since last time I was there.

My childhood friends Nagumo Haruya and Netsuha Natsuhiko are my roommates now. Thought I wonder for how long that will be...

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**Quick drabble I came up with when busy with another new upcoming story. That story will have to wait. I'll finish this first. Hope you enjoyed!**

**Please review**

**GREETZZZ**

**Aster**


	2. Carefull Acts

**Just quick writing here people**

**DISCLAIMER: **Don't own IE nor characters

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Normally you wake up rather peacefull, then your alarm goes off, ruining it. Well, that was happening right now. My alarm was ringing like crazy to get me up.

Irritation dwelled up in me and as slow as a turtle I moved my legs to the side of the bed and got up.

My alarm was big and dark red. The sound coming from annoyed me every time.

Taking a hammer I used for my woodart project I slammed the thing to hell.

"Atsuishi, stop destroying your alarms every time," Nagumo told me on the other side of the wall. He probably got wake up by the noises...

I growled. "I just look up to school."

Yep. Summervacation had came to an end and the worst thing in a human's live started - school.

Groaning and puffing I went to grab some random clothes out my gardrobe. As I opened the door it started to make a peeping noise and I instantly glared daggers at it.

Mumbling annoyed I threw some stuff out their place to get my favourite cobalt blue sweater.

Then out of nowhere, two arms embraced me from behind. "Morning~"

I felt blood rush to my cheeks and heated them up. My body felt warm in his embrace and I liked it actually. Something, like a little second voice, warned me however and I pushed him off.

"Why the hell were you embracing me dude?" I growled.

Netsuha laughed. "Calm down, mate. It's not like I stole your virginity, it was just a hug. I hug Nagumo all the time. So why-"

I was staring at him with eyes filled in disbelieve. "A-are you two..?"

Netsuha grinned. "Together? No~ Never in my life! But, school will start in twenty. I'll just score some chick. Wanna join me?"

I stared at him. Why was he so... hyper today? I shook my head. "No, thanks."

Netsuha blinked. "Uh? Why not?"

Wah!? Why is he always the curious type?

"I... am going to the arcade after school," I replied calm.

"Oh..." he said, dissapointment in his voice.

"Maybe Nagumo wants to join you to get some hot chick," I smiled and walked out.

...

Silence filled the room.

"But he is homo... He does hunts boys, not girls..."

Netsuha's voice was shaky, as he was about to burst in tears.

"He ain't such fool..."

* * *

I smirked as I saw Nagumo baking some pancakes.

"Sooo, you actually are woman?" I asked innocently, sitting down in the meantime.

Nagumo didn't glare nor scold me, he laughed in fact.

"If you want to give the one you love something special, you better start now. For me its simple, but girls are expecting much. I'll try my best if I was you."

Netsuha closed my mouth with a pkayful grin. "He's always like that with Gazel."

"Gazel?" I asked.

Nagumo smirked. "Nickname of my crush. Fast and elegant, so Gazelle - but we liked Gazel better. Netsuha's nick is Nepper since he is a master pranker. Mine is Burn."

This time Netsuha shoved Nagumo to the side to get some cookies he baked. "Delicious~"

As they shared their food and commented it, I felt myself fade into thin air.

Those two cook for their girls and give it on Valentine's...

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THIS!?

"Hey, you don't have a nick by the way Shi-chan," Netsuha remarked. It almost didn't notice me he shortened my FIRST name and added -chan, but it did the last moment.

"Heat. He radiates heat after all," Nagumo mumbled with carrots in his mouths.

The two resumed their cook session while I cried from the inside. 'Why me!? Why!?'

* * *

"I told you two we would be late! Geez, and you brought those cookies either?" I snorted. My irritation grew for some reason. I was about to snap at them again as Nagumo grabbed a package of cookies from Netsuha.

"Sorry Nepper, my precious Gazel is in need if cookies," Nagumo smiled and run off to a slim girl with wild, to the left swept silver hair.

Netsuha chuckled. "Leave them be, else they start to be grumpy."

We walked side to side to our classroom, our hands touching now and then, on which I after few times decided to put my hands in the pockets of my sweater.

"Pretty girld here man," I whistled.

From the corner of my eye I saw Netsuha looking me like he suspected something. I panicked. He couldn't find it out that quickly!

"So, who's your chick?" I asked. "Don't want it to happen I crush on her."

Netsuha sighed lightly and pointed to a girl with a mask. "Catch of last year. Those around her are Rean and Clara. But I wouldn't dare to speak to them as they-"

"Oh, so you are the new one!" the girl Rean smiled.

Netsuha gasped at seeing me talk so casually with them.

It was true, I could talk more openly with girls than boys. Maybe I could get one of these and then he- Wait... Sm I crushing on Netsuha right now?

Oh, come on! Not him of all people...!

"I'm Hasuike An - or Rean by the way. This are Clara and Rhionne," Hasuike smiled."You?"

So everyone uses nicknames here, he?

"I'm Heat."

Clara, who was eating a popicecle, smiled. "Figured that out already."

Netsuha had walked over to us and gave the cookies to Rhionne. A knife stabbed my heart at seeing it, but there was someone else who catched my intrest already.

Clara. She seemed cold yet warm. A sweet girl who would never try to hurt you.

A seldom-appearing women breeding.

"Well, I think I must go to class. See ya girls!"

...

Rean turned to Clara. "Don't let him crush on you dumby! Blow will kill him!"

Rhionne sighed as she stroke an escaped lock back. "Like Kii and Reina will like it."

The shorter red head pouted. "Ulvida and Keeve are just too overprotective. That's all. Even so, there are enough girls he could date instead of us! So they won't think bad."

Netsuha growled. "So he hunts on girls even thou he says he didn't want to?" Mumbling things like that the other acted strange was the last heard before he turned around the corner.

The three girl started to laugh snd spoke in unison.

"OBVIOUS!"

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**Hmm... I kinda insulted my own gender there...**

**Sorry girlzzz!**

**Please review~! My inspiration and energy bars will be filled up! (Yep, I also XD)**

**See yaaaa!**

**Aster**


	3. First Day's Mess

**Heya~! I was not sure what to write, so I just decided to do the school part since its first day. I don't know if it's the same at your schools, but we just have introductions the f irst day and a bit of work by some teachers.**

**Well, hope you enjoy ^^**

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own Inazuma Eleven nor the characters, Level-5 does

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The first class was math. I almost lost control of myself and wanted to shout how I hated the subject.

Luckily I could hold myself from it, so I prevented to get send out on the first day. That was a good sign, right?

The old lady who gave it started to tell her whole lifestory - which turned out to be fantasized. I mean, look at her and then "I was a top model". That is so not true! Even a blind horse could tell.

Wait, what? Horse? Why am I talking about a blind horse?

"Mister Shigeto, everything alright in the back?" she suddenly asked.

Nearly jumping from my seat I gave her a reassuring smile. "Y-yeah... I just... Imagined how...cool u life had to be."

Excited she nodded and strated to tell more stufff. Honestly, no one was intrested in it. Nagumo was already sleeping and Netsuha was goddamn just playing on his phone! Some girly dude and his soccer freak friend were chatting about soccer and tactics.

I believe that this will be some hell of a boring year if all teachers are like this...

Next subject; English.

Our teacher was some strange Italian guy.

I know. Italian gives English - weird.

Well, he was pretty cool. He looked handsome either...

He had spiky brown hair which was styled to the sides. Like he was my dad with brown hair.

Kinda strange...

Thought it wasn't as strange as our teacher France. She didn't even could talk the language herself and wore some baggy clothes and her hair was a mess.

And she just let us go after telling us her name, that she knew how much we had to hate school and she quickly checked if we were all there.

Strange enough two kids had a fever, one was placed in another class, one had transferred on the last moment and another three had gotten in trouble with the police.

It was not really that bad and after some chatting our last subject before lunch break started.

It was a tidy man with tie, white blouse with black jacket and black pants.

I forgot his name since he was talking about how stern he was and such. I immediately wished him to die - taking it back as soon as he started to cough badly.

As soon as the bell rang I run out the school, only to bump into someone.

Well, that had to happen me ofcourse...

I just wanted to stand up to say I was sorry and help the other up when the person stook his hand out himself. "Sorry, I didn't saw you there. In a hurry to get away from school too?"

My eyes went wide as I saw the person.

Smooth, fine, milk white skin begging to be touched. Long, silky, blond hair which framed his body as he was God himself. His black with red eyes bore in mine.

Gasping for air his name shot through my blurred mind.

Afuro Terumi.

"A-ah... You are Afuro-kun..." I pointed out.

The boy frowned at me and then smiled. "Owh, you-! Netsuha! Been a while buddy!"

Flushing at his smile I cursed myself. Afuro and I had been close friends and I had crushed on him - which he knew. Making him the only one knowing my secret.

Luckily Fate was in my side for it being Afuro. He never told secrets further.

"Shall we lunch together?" the blonde asked.

Mimicking a fish first, I only could stare at him. I mean; why was he so damn hot!?

"S-sure," I said shakier than I wanted.

Afuro only smirked and pulled me with him.

* * *

Desire Amour.

Why of all food did we have to order this!?

While I was still staring at the heart-shaped food, Afuro already was eating. I could feel his gaze on me thought...

"Not gonna eat?" the blonde casually asked.

Caught. Well, he always manages to read me like an open book even when I tried my best to hide my emotions. Seems we were closer than I thought already...

"Uhm... Maybe?"

Afuro stayed silence for awhile before chuckling. "Was that a question or answer?"

"Answer?"

By then I found out the stare he had focused on me wasn't just because I spoke everything out like a question. He saw something was wrong with me.

"Did you think there was a message behind this food? Hmm, well it kinda has. I'm Aphrodi - male Aphrodite. God of Love. So, tell me what's going on in that mind of yours," Afuro smiled.

I simply scoffed and bit in the food. "Thought you could read minds?'

The other sighed. "Again; no, I can't."

My eyes went to his as he scratched his cheek. "It's just... You're so predictable..."

Heat rushed to his cheeks. Predictable? Did that guy really said that?

A small pout decorated my face as I lifted my head. "Am not!"

Afuro laughed and then folded his hands under his chin. "Just tell me - Aphrodi-sama will fix your problems like they haven't even been there!"

And, like always, this was how I ended up telling that guy everything. About how I was a scaredy cat and how hard it was to hide my feelings and blahblahblah.

Seriously - the blonde only made things worse, I tell you.

His plan was just... ridiculous!

Dating the girls and all to keep distant from the boys just will cause suspicion! Well, at Netsuha and Nagumo's side of view of how I am at least...

Man, how I ended up in this mess again?

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**Alright, LOL.**

**Hope you enjoyed this shorty ^^**

**Next, I'll be writing on 'Inazuma Eleven Roar'. Might take awhile.**

**Review pretty please**

**(/^·^)/\(^·^\)**


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